


That Wasn't In A Plan, Was It?

by JenCollins, WordsAblaze



Series: Crazy Collabs [16]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Bad Boy Dan, Friends to Lovers, High School, Hurt Dan Howell, Hurt Phil Lester, Introverts, Kisses, M/M, School Project, Swearing, bingo thing, don't remember anymore, enjoy, first love?, giving comfort, hurt Dan, idk what else to tag, lot of kisses, lovely Phil, mention of hurtful past, school au, school fic, sex?, slowly getting together, written ages ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 18:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17872514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsAblaze/pseuds/WordsAblaze
Summary: When Dan and Phil are set to be partners in school project things start to happen. They slowly itch closer but will their past let them stay together?





	That Wasn't In A Plan, Was It?

**Author's Note:**

> We wrote this back at the autumn of 2018 for some bingo thing or whatever but non of us did post it. So now, almost half a year latter I though why not. Enjoy.
> 
> edit (wordsablaze) : yup, it totally slipped my mind, sorry that we didn't post earlier and thus sorry for mistakes since i haven't been able to proof-read :)

It was that time of the year again, the time when everyone was put in groups to do some projects. It was their school’s rule to have a one week long group project about random things they choose for pupils to do.

It was something like in Hogwarts, they were all sitting in the big hall, waiting to be called to see how they would be sorted.

There was 90% of them who loved this, loved to work with new people and work in groups.

But then there was the remaining 10% who couldn’t stand to be put in groups to work together with someone.

And guess what, Dan was in that 10%, he just couldn’t stand working in group projects.

Of course, Phil was also a part of that small 10%, he really didn’t see the point in group projects, especially when it was always a gamble to see whether or not you actually got along with the other students.

He was sat at the back, watching as everyone got put into pairs or trios or groups of four - their school loved to be awkward about every last detail - and keeping an eye out for people he knew.

This time around, his name was called near the end, and he hadn’t heard of his partner, someone called Daniel, so he didn’t really know where to go, awkwardly standing up and looking around.

Dan wasn’t paying attention to the sorting thing going on, he was slumped in the furthest away, darker corner, headphones in, listening to random music playing, scratching any remaining, this time sea blue, nail polish off his nails.

Phil didn’t even see him at first. It was only when someone right beside Dan loudly called his name to get his attention that Phil turned around, spotting the brunette in the corner, slowly making his way over.

Dan looked up only when Phil stopped in front of him, with his big, dark brown eyes that seemed so deep that you could get lost in them in a  matter of seconds.

Phil ended up hesitating because of almost getting lost in Dan’s eyes but he managed to offer Dan a small wave. - Hi, I’m Phil… -

\- Why? - Dan just asked, taking his earphones out.

Phil blanched slightly, confused. - Um, we’re partners for the project? -

\- Oh, great, - Dan said sarcastically, looking back down at his nails.

Phil’s stomach sank a little, he’d hoped to be paired with someone who he could at least get along with. Just his luck.

\- So I’m guessing you’re more interested in your nails than getting this done? - Phil muttered, forgetting about being polite.

\- Oh, the sassy queen has arrived. What a pleasure! - Dan glared at Phil.

\- I wish I was a queen, - Phil replied without thinking, - then I wouldn’t have to put up with this. -

\- Then go and be one! - Dan snapped back, standing up.

Phil was used to being much taller than his friends so it was almost to see that Dan was a similar height to him, if not taller.

He shook his head, realising this was a bad way to start their week. - Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, I know neither of us chose to do this, but can we at least try? - he asked, smiling again.

\- I won’t go to your house, I won’t meet anyone in your family, or your friends. I will do my own stuff and you will do yours. Understand? - Dan asked in a strict tone, no joy in his voice.

Despite the smile fading from Phil’s face, he nodded, sighing. - Yeah, yeah, sounds good. How about we go and find out what our project is so we can get this over with? - he asked, already turning to walk to the teacher who had their task.

\- I already know it, no need to waste our time. Let’s go and get over it. - Dan crossed his arms over his chest.

Phil turned back, surprised. - How do you already know? - he asked incredulously.

\- Because. Are you coming or what? - Dan already turned around, walking out of the full hall of loud pupils.

He might usually have argued but Phil was more than happy to get out of there so he followed Dan wordlessly as they walked through the corridors.

Dan didn’t stop at the exit of school, simply continuing to walk to the forest behind their school.

\- Uh, Dan? - Phil called, pausing, not really wanting to risk getting lost or something so soon.

\- What? - Dan didn’t even turn around, simply continuing to walk, already almost inside the forest.

Phil sighed again, knowing Dan wasn’t going to stop now and just giving in, almost running to catch up, preferring to be with someone else if they really were going to do this.

\- Never mind, - he muttered once he’d caught up.

\- We won’t get lost, I walk here every day to get home faster. - Dan answered as if he had heard Phil’s thoughts.

\- To get home? - Phil echoed, then blinked in shock, asking: - Are we going to your place? -

\- Yes. - Dan put his hands in his jacket pockets.

\- Oh, okay, - Phil replied, tightening his grip on his bag, already wondering what Dan’s room would look like.

\- Well, you will see it. And why the hell are you wondering how my room look like? Are you some perv or something? - Dan stopped, turning around, causing Phil to bump into him and realize that he had said it aloud.

As most people would after such a realisation, Phil went bright red, looking down at the leaves under his shoes, shaking his head. - Sorry! I’m not a perv, I promise, I just- I think you can tell a lot about a person from their room so… - he mumbled.

\- True. - Dan shrugged, turning around to keep walking.

The forest was almost over, soft sun starting to break through the branches but then, to Phil surprise, there was no road or simple meadow but an old cemetery and it seemed like that was casual for Dan because he went straight in.

Just like before, Phil paused, not wanting to go in, never having really liked cemeteries.

\- Wait, Dan, where are you going? - he asked, hesitating at the gate, biting his lip as he waited for Dan to explain or something.

\- Shortest way home. - Dan turned to look at Phil.

\- Are you sure? - Phil asked, quieter this time.

\- I walk here every day, so yes, I am sure. Now stop being a pussy and come on. - Dan sighed.

Phil gritted his teeth, frustrated. - Well, I’m sorry if we aren’t all used to choosing wayward routes home, - he muttered, but took a breath and just followed, walking quickly and looking at Dan’s shoes instead of their surroundings.

\- Oh, so you would rather choose a four-hour walk home? - Dan snapped back but kept walking.

Phil didn’t look up but he raised his eyebrows anyway, waiting a moment before shrugging. - Maybe not… - he admitted.

Dan smirked, not saying anything more.

It took them a while to walk to the other end of the cemetery and, by the time they had, Phil never wanted to enter one again. He turned to Dan, finally looking at him again. - So, which way now? -

\- Right ahead. Over the river. - Dan stretched his arms a bit, making his jacket scrunch up and reveal a beautiful sneak peek of abs.

Simply glad to be out of the cemetery, Phil walked a few steps before frowning, looking around. - Am I missing something? - he asked, - Is there meant to be a bridge somewhere? -

\- No. - Dan snorted, walking to the tree that was laid over the river, simply walking over it without any problems.

Phil shook his head immediately. - I can’t do that, I’ll fall in… - he said, simply watching the waves under them.

\- Oh, c’mon. I am tired and want to get home, so just man up and come. - Dan stretched his hand out for Phil.

But Phil was still reluctant, glancing between the river and Dan’s hand. - Maybe we can just work on this another time? - he mumbled.

\- And you will walk back through the cemetery all alone now? Because I ain’t going back now. - Dan still held his hand out for Phil.

Phil groaned, hating the idea of that too. After a moment of awkwardly shifting, he just sighed, stepping forward slowly and taking Dan’s hand, gripping it tightly.

Dan just pulled him over, making Phil fall against Dan’s chest.

Phil yelped, not having expected the sudden movement, and forgot where he was, grabbing Dan reflexively, not letting go as he let his heart slow down.

Dan simply held him in his arms for a moment before steadying him and starting to walk again.

Right through a couple of trees was a casual looking house, Dan walked straight in just for them to be met with a man scowling.

\- No fucking in my house! - he snapped at Dan.

\- Oh, shut up! Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m gonna fuck everyone who comes into our house with a dick between their legs! - Dan snapped back, grabbing Phil’s arm and pulling him up the stairs, into a small dark room, shutting the door behind them.

Phil was still processing the fact that he hadn’t fallen into the river so he didn’t say anything at first, simply watching Dan dump his bag on the floor, then simply standing there, a little bewildered.

\- Are you okay? - Phil asked eventually, then added: - Thank you for before. -

\- So let’s just write each a separate part and then just talk out the review. - Dan simply said in a monotone voice, turning to his desk.

\- That sounds good? - Phil frowned anyway, not sure if pushing Dan about anything was the best idea. - But, uh, what are we writing about? -

\- Sexual assault’s impact on everyday lives. - Dan turned on his pc, taking off his jacket.

Phil nodded, then, looking around, simply sat on the floor, pulling out his phone so he could look anything up if he needed to.

\- You can sit in the bed, I’m not sick. - Dan kicked off his shoes, turning on music and plopping down onto the bed.

\- It’s fine, the floor’s okay, - Phil replied, shrugging his bag off and pulling out a notebook.

\- Come here, so we can talk quietly. - Dan stretched out over the bed but left enough space for Phil next to him.

Phil hesitated but then just nodded quickly, perching on the bed, one of his legs hanging off. - Should we whisper? - he whispered.

\- Something like that, my stepdad hates me and he can’t stand me staying alone in my room with anyone who has a dick after he found out that I’m into them. So he probably is standing behind the door and listening to see if we don’t start fucking any minute. - Dan murmured so casually as if he was talking about the weather.

Phil nodded again, going slightly red, fiddling with a pen, drawing random shapes. - Uh, I’m sorry about that, I’ll try not to get you into trouble, - he said sincerely.

Dan rolled over to his side, letting their legs brush together, looking up at Phil.

\- I don’t give a fuck what he thinks. I could fuck you right now, against that door, just to annoy the shit out of him, - Dan murmured, slowly pushing himself up till there were only couple inches left between their faces, looking deep into Phil’s eyes.

Phil looked back into Dan’s eyes, lost in the way they looked like chocolate and honey and forests at the same time. - Um, I don’t think- - he trailed off, shaking his head. - I mean, what? We can’t…? -

Dan burst out laughing, falling back down onto the bed, joy actually sparkling in his eyes for a second.

Shocked yet again, Phil just shook his head, not sure if he was amused or just confused. He frowned slightly. - Well, I’m glad one of us got some joy out of that… - he said, but, this time, he meant it in a good way.

\- Well, if you so want to, we can actually fuck. I don’t mind. You seem cool. - Dan shrugged.

Phil choked on air, finally looking away from Dan and taking a deep breath. - We just met though, - he mumbled.

\- But you want it, don’t you? - Dan sat back up, leaning close to Phil, whispering in his ear, putting one of his hands on Phil’s knee.

There was a part of Phil that wanted to just say yes, to see where things would go because Dan was so unlike anyone else, but he shook his head, shuffling back a little, forgetting that he was sat on the edge of a bed and toppling onto the floor with a yelp.

And just somehow, probably because Dan was leaning against Phil so much, Dan ended up falling down, right on top of Phil, with a silent gasp, his eyes widening in surprise.

Having closed them when he’d fallen, Phil opened his eyes, gasping when he saw how close Dan was, but not moving in case they fell further, if that was possible. - Um, hi? - Phil smiled.

\- Hi? - Dan mumbled back, still shocked.

Now Phil laughed. - You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re flustered… -

\- Oh, you wish! - Dan growled, already getting up, accidentally pushing their hips together, cursing under his breath.

\- I thought you said you preferred to do this by the door? - Phil smirked, finally getting his composure back.

\- Sure. - Dan smirked, pulling Phil up and slamming him against the door, pressing their bodies together.

It took Phil a second to recover but he just raised an eyebrow, propping himself up with one foot so he didn’t fall. - Smooth, - he whispered, staring at Dan’s eyes again.

Dan opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, he was getting too lost in Phil’s eyes.

\- See something you like? - Phil whispered, simply gazing back because he didn’t know what else to do, didn’t know what else he wanted to do.

\- Yes… - Dan murmured, getting fully lost. - I am so not used to being with someone my age... - without even filtering, Dan breathed out, not realizing what he had just said out loud.

Phil tilted his head to one side, finally remembering to blink as well, then softly asked: - Who are you usually with, then? -

\- Does it really matter? - Dan asked, sounding genuinely sad.

\- Of course, - Phil replied warmly, - everything about you matters. -

\- Why? You don’t even know me. - Dan sighed.

\- Not yet, - Phil argued, - and I don’t think my opinion will change, to be honest. You’re Dan, who walks over fallen trees and has really warm eyes, and you already matter, so… -

\- I have heard enough of warm lies, so why would I believe you? - Dan asked in full honesty.

\- I don’t have any reason to lie to you, - Phil replied without missing a beat, meaning it.

\- Okay… If you really want to know then they usually are someone a lot older, like our project teacher. - Dan looked away, taking a step back, sounding so heartbreakingly hurt and lost.

Phil stepped forward too, his frown softening to an expression of both sympathy and concern. - Oh, Dan… I’m sorry, - he said eventually, not really having the right words.

\- Oh, shut up. It doesn’t matter. - Dan shook his head, stepping back again, all emotions gone.

Phil hummed. - Well, it does, but we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, - he settled with after a second, smiling.

\- Talking about it won’t change anything! - Dan crawled back into his bed. - So, about what do you want to start? -

\- It might if you talk to the right people, - Phil said, but joined Dan on the bed again, picking up the notebook from where it had fallen. - and I don’t mind, depends on which part you want to do. -

\- Has it ever happened to you? - Dan turned to look at Phil.

Shrugging, Phil met Dan’s gaze and replied: - Not directly… but an old friend of mine… -

\- Oh, then you have seen what it does to a person. - Dan took a deep breath.

\- Yeah, - Phil sighed, waiting in case Dan wanted to say anything more.

\- Are you still friends with them? - Dan asked, starting to scratch off his already half scratched nail polish.

\- Well, I try to keep in touch but they moved away so… - Phil shrugged, not sure how else to explain it.

\- Then you shouldn’t even try to be friends with me. - Dan was looking only at his nails, his face emotionless.

Phil watched Dan for a second but shook his head. - I’ll keep trying even if you move away too, - he announced firmly.

\- You can’t say that, you don’t even know what actually happened to me or who I actually am. What if I’m some sex-hyped serial killer? - Dan looked up at Phil.

\- Well, I’ve never met a sex-hyped serial killer who has muse posters in their room so I’ll take a bet and say you aren’t… - Phil smiled, only half joking.

\- Do you know why he gave me this subject? - Dan slowly sat up.

Sitting up straighter himself, Phil shook his head for what must have been the tenth time already. - No… - he mumbled.

\- Because I have gone through it. I know how it feels, I know how you feel after, how people start to look at you. - Dan looked straight into Phil’s eyes.

\- I’m sorry, - Phil murmured, but didn’t look away from Dan, just offering him a soft smile. - But, unless you want me to, I don’t think I’ll look at you any differently… -

\- Don’t you think that I’m disgusting? All used over and over again? - Dan moved a bit closer to Phil, not breaking eye contact, not even blinking.

\- No, - Phil replied immediately, his eyebrows furrowing, leaning a little closer to Dan without thinking about it, - I think you’re kind and brave and very sarcastic, but nowhere near disgusting. -

\- Do you really? - Dan was now hovering over Phil.

Phil nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact still. - Like I said, I don’t have any reason to lie to you. -

\- Maybe you are just afraid that I’m gonna punch you. Or rape since I know how to do it correctly so others wouldn’t hear? - Dan hissed.

Phil flinched but didn’t move away, just raised an eyebrow. - Not really, unless you think I should be? - he asked.

\- No one should. No one. - Dan breathed out, his voice strong but breaking at the same time.

Phil expression became serious again. - Can I hug you? - he asked suddenly, for some reason filled with the urge to try and help, to protect Dan.

\- Why? - Dan looked like he was pushed off the track, for a moment looking all broken and vulnerable.

\- I don’t know, you seem like you might need one… - Phil finally blinked, clearing his throat, - but it’s fine, I’m sorry if that was rude of me. -

Dan opened his mouth to say something but closed it again, swallowing roughly before letting himself drop down into Phil’s lap and slowly, as if unsure, leaned against Phil in a weird hug, simply holding his arms to his sides.

Phil froze for a moment but, now sure that was okay with the contact, gently put his arms around Dan, pulling him into a more comfortable position, just keeping ahold of him in case he wanted to let go.

Dan closed his eyes, sighing softly before breathing in Phil’s scent, nudging his face against his neck, slowly wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist.

At that, Phil tightened his grip slightly, pulling Dan a little closer, letting his own eyes close at the feeling of comfortable warmth radiating from Dan, wishing they could be able to just stay in a moment like this for days.

\- You smell nice… - Dan murmured against Phil’s neck almost without a sound.

Phil went slightly pink but laughed a little. - Why, what do I smell like? - he asked, confused.

\- Safety… - Dan mumbled, letting his whole body relax.

Phil didn’t say anything more, he wasn’t sure what to, he just held on to Dan as if this was what he’d been born to do.

Dan sat there without even moving, simply holding onto Phil.

It was only when Phil felt one of his legs go numb that he opened his eyes again, sighing. - Dan? - he mumbled softly. - You okay? -

Dan didn’t answer, his face still pressed against Phil.

\- Or we can just stay here, - Phil continued, smiling slightly, - but I’ll definitely fall over if we ever get up, just be warned… -

Dan just softly pushed Phil, making him slide down on the bed, Dan still wrapped around him and on top of him, all so calm and soft.

It took Phil a second to shift into a more comfortable position but then he just tightened his grip once more, rarely having felt so content around another person. - Thank you, - he mumbled gratefully.

Dan just sighed softly, not really wanting to move but still slowly pushing himself back up, keeping his head down, not letting Phil see his red eyes, getting off Phil and walking to stare out of the window.

After a second, Phil stood up hesitantly, clasping his fingers together so he didn’t fiddle with them. - What happened? - he asked quietly, worry in his voice; they’d been pretty comfortable with no obvious reason to split apart.

\- It was a mistake. You shouldn’t get close to me, - Dan spat back in an already coldly harsh tone.

\- Is that really what you want? - Phil asked, keeping his tone neutral.

\- For fuck's sake, Philip! It’s what’s better! - Dan snapped in sudden anger, clenching his hands into fists.

Phil shook his head, walking forward so he was beside Dan. - Better for who? - he asked, still quiet.

\- You and everyone! - Dan growled.

Frowning, Phil replied: - I can decide what’s better for me, you just need to choose for yourself and then tell me. -

\- I already fucking told you that it was a mistake and you or anyone else shouldn’t get close to me. End of conversation, - Dan growled, still not looking at Phil.

Phil sighed but nodded slightly. - Fine, if that’s what you want, we can just focus on the project. If you change your mind, well, I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon… -

\- You are annoying. - Dan turned around, getting back into the bed.

\- Thanks! - Phil grinned, then looked around. - Do you see my notebook anywhere? -

\- No. Just sit down. - Dan shifted to the side to make more room for Phil to sit back down next to him.

With another unsuccessful glance around, Phil sat down, settling for a second before looking to Dan. - So, what’s the plan? -

\- Just writing down the plan of what we will include in our work, then actually doing it, - Dan murmured, already calm, focusing on the pc in his lap.

\- Wait, are we hand-writing this or typing it up? - Phil asked, wishing he’d asked someone this stuff before leaving.

\- Hand-writing. - Dan slid down further into the pillows, looking already tired.

\- You can rest, if you like, and I’ll get started for now, you can join me later? - Phil offered, not wanting Dan to push himself.

\- I’m alright. - Dan cleared his throat. - So, let's get this started. -

Dan cracked his fingers before starting to brainstorm what they should and shouldn’t write. After a couple of hours, without even noticing, he was fully leaning against Phil, pointing to the screen, sounding a bit annoyed and sleepy but it just seemed that Dan’s body was seeking the warmth of Phil’s body, making Dan press himself even closer to Phil to get closer to the screen he was still pointing at.

And Phil didn’t mind giving him that warmth, simply shuffling closer without noticing, taking over the majority of the talking, letting Dan relax slightly. Only when they were both slipping down so far that they were almost lying down did Phil stop, putting the pc to one side. - I think we need to take a break, - he murmured.

\- Nah… - Dan turned his head to the side, trailing off after noticing how close their faces actually were, feeling Phil’s breath on his lips.

Phil sent him a soft smile. - It’s fine, we got enough done anyway, - he said, his gaze running over the curls in Dan’s hair.

\- When did we got so pushed together? - Dan asked, furrowing his eyebrows at Phil.

\- When you refused to take a break earlier and carried on working hard, - Phil replied, shrugging.

\- And why are you kissing me? - Dan leaned closer.

Phil blinked. - Good question… -

Dan just pulled Phil closer, smashing their lips together.

It wasn’t a particularly long kiss but it was long enough for Phil to confirm his decision of sticking with Dan and his peculiar softness.

Dan just let his head drop on Phil’s shoulder, too worn out from all the talking about the heavy subject they had and closing his eyes.

\- Just 5 minutes and then we can continue working, - he murmured.

\- Sure, - Phil whispered, already knowing he had no plans of waking Dan up until he woke up naturally.

Dan fell asleep right away, snuggling up closer to Phil, ending up napping for almost an hour, only waking up because of Phil’s phone starting to buzz.

Phil stumbled through several apologies without paying attention to what he was saying, eventually finding his phone after it had stopped buzzing, and glancing back to Dan. - Uh, probably should have made sure that didn’t happen, you can go back to sleep if you want? -

\- What time is it? - Dan looked so damn confused, sitting up and looking around in little panic. - Uh, nearly half six, why? - Phil asked, steadying Dan so he didn’t topple over.

\- Damn it, Phil, I told you 5 minutes, not almost an hour. - Dan growled, pulling his hair a bit.

Phil grabbed his hands without thinking. - Don’t do that! What’s wrong, have we missed something? -

Dan just looked down at Phil’s hand holding his, then looking back up with something weird glossing in his eyes.

\- Sorry, - Phil mumbled, loosening his grip on Dan’s hands but not entirely letting go yet, trying to figure out what the look in Dan’s eyes was.

\- I could have punched you, - Dan breathed out.

Phil looked back at Dan, shocked. - But you didn’t, - he said simply, smiling.

\- But I could have. And why are you now smiling so big? - Dan furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side.

\- Because, - Phil replied happily, - my face is very much un-punched. -

\- Do you want me to change that? - Dan asked, leaning a bit closer to Phil, stretching out taller.

Frowning, Phil shook his head. - Not unless that will help you with something... ? - he still smiled afterwards anyway, not entirely sure why.

\- Why are you still smiling so big? Aren’t you afraid that I will punch you or push you off the bed? - Dan scrunched his nose a bit.

Phil just smiled even more at that, committing the image of Dan scrunching his nose up to memory because of how cute it looked. - Nah, I already fell off earlier, can’t get much worse than that, - he said after a moment.

\- True. - Dan sighed as if giving up and leaning back against pillows as if he had lost all interest in Phil.

Unfortunately, Phil had still been holding Dan’s hands so he ended up tilting forward, throwing his arms out on either side of Dan to avoid falling on him.

\- That was unexpected, so now you want to fuck me or something? - Dan simply looked up at Phil, letting one of his arms be trapped next to his head under Phil’s hand.

Phil recoiled instantly, pushing himself back up and going slightly red. - No, - he said quietly, already feeling bad.

\- Your weight feels different on top of me, - Dan mumbled.

\- I don’t know what that means… - Phil admitted, shuffling so there was a slight gap between them.

\- I mean when someone is on top of you, you can feel their weight and yours felt different. - Dan sat up and pushed Phil down, climbing on top of him, lowering himself so he would rest his whole body on his arms on each side of Phil’s head. - Like this… -

Phil held his breath, nodding without thinking, now hyper-aware of Dan’s warmth above him, fixing his gaze on Dan’s eyes. - Okay… Um, thank you? - he mumbled, finding it a bit difficult to think properly.

\- I just explained in the way you would understand, - Dan mumbled so close to Phil’s lips that Phil could feel the words brushing against them.

\- That was very kind of you, - Phil said, shivering slightly, then asked: - Is this comfortable for you? -

\- Yes, isn’t it for you? - Dan shifted his body a bit, relaxing his legs more, which lead to their hips pushing together even more.

Phil took a second to compose himself before shrugging as best as he could. - Yeah, I guess it is, more comfortable than I’d have thought… -

\- With the right person, it should feel like that. - Dan looked deep into Phil’s eyes.

\- I guess you’re the right person, then. - Phil offered Dan another smile, a smaller, more genuine one.

\- Not even close… Wait, - Dan shifted a bit. - Are you hard? -

Phil finally looked away from Dan, shaking his head. - No, maybe… I- Sorry… - he mumbled, stumbling over his words.

\- Oh my, I thought that you were past the horny teenage phase, guess I was wrong. - Dan laughed, sitting up and getting off Phil, standing fully up, running a hand through his hair a bit too strong and roughly.

Phil sat up then, clearing his throat awkwardly. - Sorry, I’m not used to being so close to other people, - he explained, but then shrugged. - And I guess I’m just another typical teenager… -

\- I guess. And you literally watched me sleeping for almost an hour. Have you thought that you are a perv? - Dan asked, turning to look at Phil, now a bit more relaxed again and joking lightly.

Phil made a face, putting his hands on his hips. - Excuse you, you’re the one that fell asleep on me! - he grinned, simply glad that Dan wasn’t too annoyed.

\- Not my fault that you gave me so much emotional exhaustion that I fell asleep, - Dan snapped back with some shadow of a smile over his lips.

Not having a good reply to that, Phil just crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out, leaning back a bit, trying his best not to laugh.

Dan was first one to break out laughing, making Phil join him, filling the room with joy but soon they were disturbed by a loud, harsh knock on the door.

\- Time for your fucktoy to go, dinner is ready. - Said some girl’s voice behind the door, not recognisable but really familiar to Phil for some unknown reason.

Dan didn’t answer anything, simply sighing, all joy lost.

Phil could almost see how Dan’s walls curled back up, his face going emotionless like the best poker player.

Knowing it was pointless to try anything else, Phil just jumped up and gathered his things, slinging his bag on one shoulder and then gently nudging Dan. - Hey, um, to be continued, right? - he asked, smiling almost sadly.

\- Continue what exactly? Your horniness or our project? - Dan asked crossing his hands over his chest, distant smirk on his lips.

With some weird confidence, Phil winked. - Whichever one you like, - he whispered.

\- You heard, no fucking in this house. Well, at least no gay fucking. But see you later, I guess. - Dan opened his bedroom door for Phil, leading him down to the front door, opening them too. - The bus stop is down the road but it will be more simple to just call a cab. -

\- Thanks, - Phil said, - I’ll probably wait for a bus. - Then, before he could change his mind, he asked: - Can I hug you? As a goodbye? -

Dan looked a bit startled at first before shrugging a bit, stepping outside so Phil could hug him.

Slowly, Phil stepped closer and then just threw his arms around Dan, making sure not to crush him in any way but still pulling him close, hoping they’d meet again soon.

At first Dan just stood there a bit confused and tense but then slowly wrapped his arms around Phil.

Phil smiled, oddly happy from such a small thing. - Thank you, - he said softly, then, after a moment, pulled back. - So, uh, see you next time? -

\- Yeah… Bye. - Dan stepped back a bit awkwardly, pushing his hands into his jeans pockets.

Phil waved at Dan, not caring that it might have seemed a bit childish, then laughed a bit. - Wait, which way was the bus stop? -

Dan laughed, shaking his head, closing the door behind his back and starting to lead Phil down the road to the bus stop.

\- You didn’t have to come… - Phil said, but he definitely wasn’t complaining.

\- Don’t want to be blamed for a murder. - Dan simply answered, sitting down at the bus stop to wait for the bus together with Phil.

Phil’s eyes widened. - What? - he asked, suddenly wondering where exactly he was that there was a risk of murder.

Dan started laughing by simply seeing Phil’s face.

\- Oh, calm down, I’m joking. This is a safe neighbourhood. And here is the next bus. See you in school, I guess. - Dan still had a half smile on his lips.

Phil sighed with relief, then mock-glared at Dan. - Thanks for that panic… -

As the bus stopped next to them, Phil stood up and waved again. - See you in school! -

Dan just watched Phil get into the bus, after that offering a small smile to him before walking away.

The next day Dan didn’t show up in school.

Phil didn’t even know what to do, he didn’t have Dan’s number and he wasn’t sure if appearing at Dan’s house unannounced would actually do any good.

\- What are you thinking about? - Lynsy, Phil’s kind of best friend, sat down next to Phil.

Phil blinked, staring at her in confusion before shaking his head. - Uh, nothing… -

\- Yeah, whatever. So who is he? - She picked a fry from Phil’s plate.

\- He? - Phil asked, not caring about the fry, double the amount of confusion in his head now.

\- Well, you kinda said it yourself that you are interested in dicks, so I guess it is he. Am I wrong? - She looked up at Phil, batting her fake lashes.

For a moment, Phil just stared at her, then nodded very slightly. - I guess…. but that’s not what I’m thinking about, I’m just worried about him. -

\- Why? - She kept stealing Phil’s food.

\- Because. What else am I meant to do when he’s not in school even though he was okay yesterday? - Phil asked, finally paying attention to what she was doing. - And quit stealing my food! -

\- Oi, oi. So you finally got a boyfriend then? - She leaned back in the chair, flipping her hair.

Phil shook his head, now having realised he was trying to figure out something about her voice, he just couldn’t place it. - I don’t think so? -

\- But you were together last night. Did you two fuck? - She stole one fry from Phil’s plate again.

At that, Phil stiffened, suddenly thrown back to last night, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at her. - You were there? - he asked, shock in his voice.

\- I was where? - She asked in confusion.

Phil opened his mouth to reply but changed his mind, taking a deep breath. - Does the name ‘Dan’ mean anything to you? - he asked slowly.

\- No? Should it? - She stole another fry while Phil wasn’t looking.

But Phil frowned, almost sure about this. - Yeah, I think it should… I’m pretty sure it was you there yesterday, - he said, mostly to himself.

\- What the hell are you talking about? I was where? - She now sounded a bit annoyed.

After taking the fry she’d just stolen out of her hand, Phil properly looked at her. - You were at Dan’s house, yesterday, when I went there, - he said firmly.

\- Who is Dan? - She leaned back in her chair again, crossing her arms over her chest.

How was Phil meant to explain that? Surely she’d know Dan from him being around school, right? Conflicted, Phil just tilted his head. - He’s the one I’m working with for the project and you must be blind not to have seen him before. -

\- Last name? - She sighed.

He had to think about it for a second. - Howell. -

\- If you will tell this to anyone, I will slice your neck open with my freshly manicured nails. - She leaned closer to Phil. - He is kinda my step brother. -

\- Whaa… ? - Phil trailed off, both a little scared and completely thrown off, eventually just sighing and letting his head fall on the table. - Are you serious? -

\- Yes, I am serious. I wish I wasn’t but I am. - She sighed again.

Unsure of what else to do, Phil just laughed, looking back at Lynsy with a slight smirk as if he wasn’t completely shocked. - You threw me out of the house! - he raised an eyebrow jokingly.

\- I didn’t know that it was you. We kinda don’t get along. He is like a slut, so yeah. - She flipped her hair once again.

Phil scowled at her. - No, he’s not! - he argued, - He’s amazing, and I don’t know why you’re insulting him. -

\- I am living with him in one house. I have known him for longer than you. So, yes, he is a slut. Call him a fuckaboy if you like. - She tried to take another fry from Phil.

But this time, Phil took the plate away and stood up, still glaring at her. - That’s not fair on him at all and I’m not going to sit and listen to you insult him. -

\- Hey, I’m your best friend! C’moon! Okay, I won’t say a thing about him. And by the way, he stayed home today, was out late last night and then got yelled at by my father. If you want you can go and do your project with him. But remember what I told you. I have seen things and I have heard convos he has had with his mother and my father. - Lynsy stood up too.

Phil was torn between forgiving her and ignoring her completely. Instead of either of those things, he just sighed, putting the plate down. - I’ll remember but I’m going to make my own judgements. Thanks for letting me know, I guess. I’ll see you later… - he ended the conversation by walking away, he wasn’t really sure where he was going, just away from Lynsy.

Not even a second later Phil got a text from her with a phone number in it.

_\- Dan’s. Just don’t say that I gave it to you. He hates to give his number to almost anymore at all. L. -_

Phil sent a quick ‘thank you’ back, not sure he wanted to say anything that could result in a conversation, then added Dan’s number to his phone, debating whether or not to text him.

After some debating, he convinced himself that their work would come out better if they actually made it together. Without a second's hesitation, the phone was in his hand, ready to text Dan.

Just as he was about to text ‘hi’, someone crashed into him, making him stumble and press random keys because of the shock, ending up sending a jumble of letters to Dan.

 _\- Who is this and what the fuck? -_ Dan answered within seconds.

 _\- Sorry! -_ Phil texted, then realised that wasn't much better, adding: - _This is Phil, I was just going to ask how you're doing? -_

_\- How did you get this number? -_

Phil frowned, not wanting to give Lynsy away but also not wanting to lie and ruin things.

\- _Well,_ _I have my ways… -_

_\- Fine. What do you want? -_

_\- To ask if you're okay, and why you're not in school? -_

_\- I’m okay. -_

Phil paused, knowing that wasn't really an answer but also guessing Dan wouldn't tell him if he kept asking.

- _Are you up for working on the project? -_

_\- Sure. -_

_\- Will you give me directions later, then? Don't think I remember the way -_ Phil stopped, realising he'd started walking without thinking.

\- _Later? Just come right away. Go to the bus stop left from school and take bus 21_ -

- _I can't, I have another lesson… will there be another bus in an hour? -_

_\- Yeah. -_

Phil sighed in relief, walking to his next lesson with a small smile on his face.

- _See you in a bit! -_ He sent just before the teacher walked in.

Dan didn’t answer anymore, not disturbing Phil in his lesson. The lesson itself was kinda interesting so the 40 minutes flew away without notice.

As soon as it was over, Phil texted Dan again: - _Guess who's on their way? -_

 _\- Pizza? -_ Dan yet again answered right away as if he had waited for Phil’s text.

Phil actually laughed out loud. - _Did you want me to get pizza? -_

_\- That was a joke but if you want then go on, can’t decline a good pizza. -_

Making a quick decision, Phil went back into their school, knowing their canteen would still be open, and quickly got two mini pizzas for them, then heading backing to the bus stop.

 _\- Consider it done!_ -

_\- Then get your ass here. I’m hungry. -_

_\- I don't control the bus! -_

Right then, the right bus stopped in front of Phil.

He stared at it in shock, then just shrugged and quickly got on, the driver saying nothing, sitting by the window.

- _Which stop is it? -_

_\- 10th -_

_\- What am I meant to do for ten stops? So long.. -_

_\- It will take only like 12 mins so calm down your tits, drama queen. -_

It took all of Phil's resolve not to laugh, shaking his head instead.

- _The pizza might be cold by then :( -_

_\- Then keep it warm. I’m waiting. -_

_\- How??? -_

_\- By not missing the right bus stop. -_

_\- Alright, genius! -_ Phil looked up as they hit a bump, waiting until they settled before returning to his phone, keeping the pizza close as if he could heat it up himself.

Right there came the right stop.

Shocked for the second time and half wondering if Dan had some kind of magic, Phil murmured a ‘thank you’ to the driver before getting off, then frowning as he looked around to see numerous trees and no paths.

\- _Do I have to walk into the forest or? -_

_\- You really don’t remember how you got to the bus stop yesterday? Seriously? -_

_\- It was either left or right to your place but I don't remember which… Are you really gonna make me stand out here or tell me where to go? -_

Dan didn’t answer anything. But just a minute later Phil could see Dan coming down the street, dressed all in black with a hood on.

Phil beamed, pocketing his phone and running to meet Dan, stopping just in front of him. - Hi! Can I hug you? - he asked quickly.

\- Not the best idea. - Dan murmured, sounding exhausted, looking up to reveal his split lip and a black eye.

Phil winced, nodding slowly. - I'm sorry. We can just go back so you can have the pizza? It's still warm… -

\- But you can hug me if you want. - Dan let his arms drop by his sides.

Phil smiled warmly, putting the pizza boxes on the ground and quickly wrapping his arms around Dan, pulling him close but being careful not to grip too tightly in case he was hurt anywhere else.

Dan winced anyway, taking in a sharp breath but still slowly wrapping his arms around Phil.

\- I'm sorry, - Phil murmured, not fully letting go but loosening his grip.

\- It’s okay. Let’s go inside, I’m getting cold and I would love to sit down, my ribs are hurting. - Dan breathed out.

Phil pulled back, grabbing the boxes and hesitantly taking Dan's hand, looking up at him as if silently asking if that was okay.

Dan looked down at their hands, with the same weird look in his eyes as yesterday when Phil unexpectedly took Dan’s arm.

Not really knowing what that meant, Phil let his hand slip out Dan's again, looking at the road. - Uh, sorry, I didn't mean to… - he just trailed off, waiting to see if Dan was going to say anything.

Dan just put his hands in his hoodie pockets and kept on walking without saying a word, letting Phil in the house.

\- No one else is home so we have some alone time. - He added before shutting the door behind Phil.

Phil nodded, smiling warmly and placing his bag on the floor with a soft thud. - We can eat the pizza you made me get, then! -

\- Sure. - Dan just kept walking up the stairs, holding an arm over his ribs.

Phil frowned at him, waiting until they were at the top before asking: - Hey, are you sure you’re okay? -

\- No. - Dan groaned, slowly sitting down on his bed.

\- Should I call someone? Do you need to get checked? - Phil asked worriedly, staying stood up in case he did have to get help.

\- Calm down, drama queen. - Dan breathed out, now more evenly, keeping his eyes closed, well, the bruised eye was already half closed even when he tried to keep it open.

\- What else do you expect me to do? - Phil asked, sitting beside him, now convinced Dan wouldn’t just collapse.

\- Phillip, could you just please give me that damn pizza? - Dan slowly opened his eyes and half glared at Phil.

Rolling his eyes, Phil handed Dan the two boxes, not minding if Dan chose to eat both. - You’re quite demanding, you know? - he teased.

\- Am I? - Dan asked, opening the boxes and looking over pizzas there, then choosing the left one and starting to eat it.

\- Nah, not really, - Phil answered, sighing. He then realised he’d left his bag, with his notebook inside, downstairs. - I’ll be right back, - he said to Dan.

Dan just furrowed his brows but said nothing, continuing to eat.

It didn’t take Phil long to get back, dumping his bag by the bed, waiting until had eaten his pizza before clearing his throat. - Uh, so, what happened? I mean… how did you get hurt? -

\- You could say that someone got pretty jealous of me spending last night’s evening with you alone in my room and kissing you. - Dan said, slowly lying down, one hand thrown over his chest.

Phil’s face fell, both horrified and guilty. - I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- Should I even be here then, if it’s only going to get you hurt? -

Dan looked at Phil and started laughing, soon scrunching up his nose in pain, stopping right away, coughing a couple of times.

\- Are you serious right now? - He cleared his throat again.

Phil just nodded. - Of course. Why would I be joking about this? - he asked quietly.

\- Yesterday you made me think that you actually wanted my company. Guess that I was just a fool. - Dan sat up, all light mood gone.

\- What? - Phil frowned at him, but not angrily, just with confusion. - I do want your company, that won’t just change, but I don’t want you to… Well, look like you do now just because of me. -

\- I don’t care about him! He can go fuck himself! - Dan stood up in sudden anger, his hands in fists.

\- Careful! - Phil stood too, one hand near Dan’s shoulders since he didn’t seem fully steady. - Who is it that found out anyway? -

\- Who, who! The one that gave us the fucking project! - Dan growled.

Phil didn’t really know what to say, slowly putting an arm around Dan. - I’m sorry, Dan, - he mumbled.

With one swift motion, Dan slammed Phil against the wall, one hand in a firm grip around his throat, eyes burning.

\- Don’t you fucking touch me. - He hissed.

Phil blinked, gasping. - Sorry, - he croaked, his hands pushing Dan’s away to try and get a breath.

Dan blinked as if waking up, confusion and some unrecognisable emotions taking over his face, slowly letting his arms drop by his sides, murmuring a  silent “sorry” before stepping fully away from Phil with head hung low.

\- Hey, it’s okay, it was my fault… - Phil whispered, shuffling awkardly. - So I’m sorry. -

\- It will be better for you, if you will go away and never see me again, - Dan said in a quiet voice, with his back turned to Phil, trying to push all his emotions down.

\- I don’t want to, - Phil said, then coughed pointedly, - But I can if that’s what you want? -

\- Just go fucking away. Leave like every else. Just go. - All of a sudden Dan sounded so damn tired like he hadn’t got any rest for years.

But Phil just sat down, crossing his legs, looking up at Dan. - I’d rather stay, to be honest. - he smiled softly.

\- You are so damn weird… - Dan murmured more to himself than for Phil to hear but still turned around and sit down next to Phil, slowly sliding deeper into the pillows.

Phil grinned, nodding. - Yeah, I am. You look like you need a year of sleep or something, - he commented.

\- Oh thank you, princess, - Dan snapped back, rolling his eyes, which ended up with him scrunching up his nose in pain.

Phil shrugged. - What? I’m not wrong. Why didn’t you sleep in the day? -

\- Do you always ask so many questions? - Dan sighed, leaning even more into the pillows.

\- Because your answers are always so mysterious, - Phil replied, trying not to laugh at how Dan looked like he was being swallowed by the pillows.

\- You look like you want to take away my pillows. - Dan commented, looking deep into Phil’s eyes.

\- Well, they look like they want to take you away so it’s only fair I look at them the same way, right? - Phil wasn’t even fully sure what he was saying, simply staring at Dan.

\- Then come. - Dan simply murmured, not breaking the eye contact with Phil.

\- Come where? - Phil asked, finally remembering how to blink.

\- Taste the pillows… - Dan mumbled, reaching up and softly pulling Phil down on top of him, not caring about bruised ribs anymore.

Phil froze at first, panicking, but, when Dan didn’t seem to be in too much pain or push him away, he relaxed, shifting so his full weight wasn’t on Dan and sighing gratefully. - Thank you, - he mumbled.

Dan didn’t say anything, simply looking down at Phil, slowly wrapping his hand into Phil’s hair, starting to play with it.

Immediately, Phil was a little calmer, relaxing a bit more, focusing only on Dan’s hand, letting the silence wash over them for a while.

\- What are you doing to me? - Dan breathed out almost with no sound at all.

\- Am I meant to answer that? - Phil asked quietly, still not moving.

\- Maybe… I’ve been wondering it for a while now… - Dan murmured, softly pulling Phil even a bit closer, letting his head rest against his neck, softly playing with his hair.

Phil’s eyes shut without him meaning them to, but he frowned a little. - What do you mean? - he asked, letting his gaze run over Dan’s hoodie sleeve since he didn’t want to move.

\- With you I just can’t be the rough bad boy who don’t give a flying shit… It’s weird… And scary… - Dan breathed out a bit sharper.

Phil hummed, thinking for a second. - I don’t think you really are that kind of person, not really. - he commented, then shifted a bit. - Wait, are you okay? Am I hurting you? -

\- I’m hurting myself… - Dan tightened his grip a bit around Phil, not really allowing him to get up. - Do you really think that I am not that slutty dark boy? -

Phil put his arm around Dan, hugging him as gently as he could. - Of course, I don’t think you’re that kind of person. You’re so much better than that, - he whispered sincerely.

\- But I’m fucking our teacher. Doesn’t it make you sick? - Dan asked, sincerely confused and yet curious.

\- It makes me wish you had better, and it makes me hate our teacher, but it’s not you that makes me sick… - Phil replied honestly.

\- You know, I probably will get punished for holding you like this and being so open with you. He is jealous of you. - Dan let out in some unsaid emotions in his voice.

\- What? How will he know? - Phil asked, immediately moving to try and sit back, hating the idea of Dan getting in trouble again, when he was still injured.

Dan growled in pain by Phil trying to sit up and accidently putting more weight on Dan’s bruised ribs.

\- Let’s say that he keeps me in control. - Dan said throught gritted teeth.

Phil mumbled an apology without thinking, settling back next to Dan, now worried. - What? How? So you’re not safe here then? -

\- Do you always act like such a drama queen? - Dan rolled his eyes.

\- You seem to bring out that part of me, - Phil grumbled, but he wasn’t really grumpy, just unsure of how to explain it.

\- Can’t you just kiss me and forget about it? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or something. - Dan groaned trying to shift into a more comfortable position.

\- Foget about you? Impossible. - Phil glanced at Dan, concerned.

\- Not me, him and all that shit. - Dan groaned, trying to lie down on his side but ending up with his scrunched up nose in pain and a small gasp for breath.

Phil sat them both up, then pushed one of the pillows behind Dan, frowning. - No, I can’t forget that, you can’t even lie down properly, that’s not easily forgotten… -

\- He’s a fucking teacher, you can’t do anything about it. - Dan growled with slight anger.

\- Maybe we could? - Phil argued, then sighed. - But first, do you have painkillers that you can take anywhere? -

\- Yes, one right in front of me. - Dan snapped back, sounding a bit tired already.

Phil raised an eyebrow, a small smile on his face nonetheless. - Daaan, we both know I can’t help that much, if that’s what you meant. Do you have any? - he asked again.

\- You could finally kiss me. - Dan avoided the question, rising one eyebrow at Phil.

\- I wish, but I’d rather not get you any more injuries, - Phil sighed, slumping slightly.

\- Grrrrr. Fine, whatever. - Dan pushed himself past Phil, getting up to get his computer and notepad, not being in the best mood.

Phil watched him, folding his arms, still no less worried. - Will you please just rest? Why are you making it worse for yourself? -

\- Because I don’t care! - Dan snapped in sudden anger, slaming the notepad down with a loud thud.

\- Well, I do! - Phil snapped back, a bit shocked from the sudden thud, taking a deep breath. - Just… just take care of yourself, for me if not yourself? -

\- Why? Why should I? After this damn project you won’t even remember my fucking name! - Dan was fighting his anger mixing with something else.

Phil shook his head. - Are you sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure I can’t forget you, project or no project, - he said firmly, not looking away from Dan.

\- Whatever, - Dan murmured, sitting down and simply starting to work.

\- That’s it? You’re not going to let yourself recover? - Phil folded his arms again, trying to think of what to do to get Dan to take care of himself.

\- So, which part of this you think we should discuss more, first or second one? - Dan asked, fully ignoring Phil, pointing to the screen with a pen in his hand.

\- The third one where you give yourself a break, if you don’t mind, - Phil muttered, standing up beside Dan.

\- Okay, let’s take a bit from both. You will be writing the first one and I will take second one. - Dan kept ignoring Phil.

Phil groaned. - Should I just start talking about carrots or something? Not like you’re going to acknowledge it even if I say, I don’t know, black is a stupid colour! -

\- Stop being a drama queen, it’s getting annoying. - Dan groaned, shifting a bit.

\- Well, I’m sorry for being concerned that the same person who can’t sit up properly is now ignoring basic self-care, - Phil muttered, this time more annoyed.

\- And why the fuck should you care? You are just some emo-haired prick who is a bigger drama queen then all pussies put together in our school! - Dan snapped back, still with his back toward Phil.

Phil flinched, his mouth opening but no sound coming out as he stared at Dan, trying to figure out if he meant that or not. After a second, despite half wanting to just run, he exhaled slowly. - And what exactly is that meant to mean? - he asked, his voice more or less calm.

\- Were you born such an idiot or did you take an extra course to be one? - Dan asked in a tired voice, letting one hand slide over his face.

Despite the urge to just cry, Phil shook his head. - I’d be an idiot if I believed you meant that, - he whispered, frowning, - so why are you saying it? -

\- Why are you such a pussy? - Dan just snapped back, not moving.

Phil just moved round so he was in front of Dan. - I don’t know, just who I am. What’s the problem? -

\- Can’t you just fuck off already? You have started to play on my nerves. - Dan groaned, not looking at Phil, looking down at his pc.

\- If you can look me in the eyes and genuinely tell me you hate my presence, I’ll leave and see you at school, but otherwise I’m staying, - Phil said, a heavy knot in his stomach.

\- You are already on the edge of crying, I hate crying, it’s for babies, - Dan said without any interest at all but still didn’t look up.

Phil scoffed. - Tell that to science. It’s really not for babies, - he argued, still staring at Dan, leaning on the wall slightly.

\- And what? You will keep bothering me till I do what? Make you cry? Punch you? - Dan put his pc down on the table and went to sit down on the bed with his notepad resting in his lap.

\- Until you admit that you’re worth caring about, - Phil replied, staying where he was just in case he annoyed Dan further.

\- You know what? I’m done. - Dan slapped the notepad down next to him, his hands already in fists.

Phil frowned again, his face half-hurting from the action. - With what? -

\- With you, for fucks sake! - Dan stood up so suddenly that when he pushed Phil fully against wall it made Phil’s breath hitch, Dan’s eyes glowing dark.

\- Um, ow? - Phil’s brows furrowed as he looked into Dan’s eyes, waiting to see what Dan would do next.

Dan just held Phil pushed against the wall, his fists gripping Phil’s hoodie, eyes still glowing, his lips pushed in tight line.

\- What? You can have the hoodie if that’s what you really want? - Phil offered Dan a small smile, breathing slowly.

\- You are such an idiot. - Dan growled, hitting Phil against the wall once again, just not as hard as it would seem at first, more softly this time, leaning close to Phil, their noses almost touching, looking deep in Phil’s eyes as if trying to figure something out.

\- Well, it got me here, so I’m not complaining, - Phil mumbled softly, smiling again despite his back aching slightly, then tilting his head in confusion. - What is it? -

\- I could just punch you the face right now… - Dan breathed out, his breath hitting Phil’s lips with the scent and freshness of peppermint.

Phil shivered but shrugged lightly. - Or you could not do that… - he said softly.

\- Why? - Dan just breathed out, not taking his eyes off Phil’s blue ones.

\- I don’t know, morals and stuff? - Phil shrugged again, finally blinking, realising he hadn’t because he’d been too busy staring at Dan’s eyes.

\- That would be better than what is creeping in my mind. - Dan sighed, kinda sounding disappointed.

\- I’m open to better suggestions, - Phil all but drawled, his voice lower without him meaning it to be.

\- You hate me already so that doesn’t matter. - Dan let out before pushing his lips a bit roughly against Phil’s warm ones.

Phil gasped but didn’t pull back, just letting it happen, letting the warmth and taste of mint wash over his lips.

Dan let go of Phil’s hoodie, sliding one hand to his scalp and the other around his waist, pulling Phil closer.

When they had to break apart for air, Phil muttered a soft - I don’t hate you, - before wasting no time and simply kissing Dan again, proving his point.

Dan softly pushed Phil to the bed, not breaking the kiss, falling on top of him.

Breathless, Phil eventually pulled back, staring up at Dan with a small but happy smile. - What happened to wanting me to leave? - he teased.

\- Shut up, I can still throw you out. - Dan growled, leaning down and softly kissing and grazing his teeth against Phil’s neck.

Phil’s breathing hitched once more but he didn’t take his eyes off Dan. - Sure, if you say so, - he mumbled, his hands settling on Dan’s back to steady them.

At that point, Dan bit down a bit stronger, strong enough to bruise but soft enough not to break the skin there.

Regardless of his best efforts, a small moan escaped Phil, making him blush and finally look away from Dan. - Sorry… -

Dan just licked over the love bite there, moving a bit lower and continuing what he was doing before.

\- Dan… - Phil wasn’t even sure if he was thanking or warning Dan at this point. - Are you sure this is okay? - he breathed.

Dan didn’t answer, just bit down again, making sure to leave yet another love bite, now moving his hands a bit tighter around Phil, one of them resting on Phil’s hip, gripping it softly.

Phil froze, not really sure what Dan’s plan was, biting his lip. - Dan? - he questioned quietly, but there was trust in his voice.

Dan didn’t answer, just continued his movements.

\- Hey, - Phil mumbled after a moment, - what do you want? -

Dan finally looked up at Phil, looking completely lost and out of place, out of this planet and universe, his eyes so big and full with mixed emotions not really revealing what he was actually feeling that moment.

Phil’s gaze softened and he leaned up, pulling Dan closer, into a simple hug, being careful not to press too hard and hurt him further, not saying anything, just holding him reassuringly.

Dan stiffened a bit in confusion, not really moving.

Phil loosened his grip a little, so he could look at Dan properly again. - Are you okay? - he asked.

\- Why did you hug me? - Dan asked in slight confusion.

\- Because you looked a bit lost and I thought a hug might help, sorry. - Phil moved to the side a little, creating a small space between them.

It looked like it did confuse Dan even more.

\- No one has ever said actually no to me in this… - Dan cocked his head to the side a bit, sitting up and letting his hands fall in his lap.

Phil frowned, taking one of Dan’s hands on instinct. - In what? -

\- In what we just did before you pushed me away. - Dan rolled his eyes at how silly for him Phil’s question was.

\- Oh. - Phil paused. - I just didn’t think it was the right time, you were ready to kick me out, apparently… - he smiled a little.

\- Does fucking ever have the right time? - Dan stood up, pulling his hoodie back down, simply sitting down in front of his pc and starting to talk about their project once again as if nothing had happened just a moment earlier.

Phil sat up properly and simply waited until Dan paused before answering: - Yeah. Yeah, it does. It should mean something. -

\- It never does, - Dan murmured before continuing to go on with their project.

Phil hummed his agreement with Dan’s points for a minute before going back to the other conversation and saying, - One day, it’ll mean a lot. -

\- Why? - Dan turned to glare at Phil.

\- Because everyone deserves to experience it when it means something good, - Phil replied, - and you deserve it too. -

\- Yeah, right. - Dan snorted, turning back to pc.

\- I am right, actually, - Phil said firmly, folding his arms even though Dan couldn’t see.

Dan just ignored Phil and went on with their project. After almost an hour, he stood up, stretching a bit before shutting his pc.

\- Okay, so you do that part and I will do this one, then we will put it all together. - Dan looked exhausted like he could pass out at any moment.

\- Right, sounds perfect. Can you sit down so you don’t fall down now? - Phil asked, genuine concern in his voice as he smiled warmly.

\- I’m fine, - Dan said strictly.

Phil nodded. - Okay, well, humour me and sit down anyway? You don’t need to be stood up, really…. -

\- You are going anyway so I will lead you. No need to sit down just to stand back up right away. - Dan groaned, stretching a bit once again.

For some reason, disappointment settled in Phil’s stomach but he just shrugged. - If I need to go, I can find the way, don’t worry, - he said.

\- My stepfather will be home in a couple of mins, I don’t want him to insult you just because you spend time with me and plus I kinda can’t bring anyone over because he thinks that all I do in this room is fuck whoever comes in it and don’t live in this house. - Dan for some weird reason started to explain himself, looking kind of hurt by seeing Phil’s disappointment.

Phil stood up at this point, his own hurt melting into sympathy and understanding as he smiled gratefully. - It’s okay, thanks for explaining though, I guess we can spend time in school when you get back then? - he asked hopefully.

\- Well… I won’t be in school for the next 2 days, - Dan murmured, opening his room door for Phil.

Phil tried his best not to look disappointed again, nodding quickly. - Okay, well, um, will you have time after school? To, uh, work on the project? -

\- I won’t be in town. He’s taking me somewhere. - Dan slowly started to walk down the stairs, holding one arm over his bruised ribs.

Phil froze at the top of the stairs, taking a deep breath. - What? Where? - he asked, then shook his head. - Sorry, drama queen alert, I’m just worried… -

\- Worried for what? That he will fuck me? Probably. That he will hit me? Probably. That he will kill me? Well, who knows. - Dan rolled his eyes, continuing to slowly walk.

\- And you have to go? - Phil asked slowly, his heart dropping at the thought of Dan getting hurt again.

\- Why not? I use every chance to get away from this house. - Dan stood at the bottom of the stairs, trying to breathe normally, glancing back at Phil. - Will you just stand there or actually come down the stairs? Or do you want me to carry you down them? -

Phil blinked himself back to reality, frowning, then shook his head. - No, no, don’t carry me… - he mumbled, quickly skipping down the steps and standing beside Dan. - Hey, are you okay? You look a bit ill… -

\- I’m fine! - Dan snapped, turning his back to Phil.

\- Alright, fine, don’t blame me when you collapse somewhere! - Phil grumbled back, sighing.

\- As if you care, - Dan murmured quietly, walking to the door and opening it for Phil.

Phil walked through before looking straight at Dan. - I always care about you, whether or not you want to see it. -

\- Yeah, yeah, right. You’ve known me just for 2 days. - Dan crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame.

\- And? Why does that affect whether or not I care? - Phil asked incredulously.

\- Because you don’t know me. - Dan said without any care, slowly sliding his eyes over Phil.

Phil nodded. - Right. But that’s only because you won’t let me. -

\- You pushed me away, so it’s not me who is not letting you. - Dan mumbled straightening his back, putting a hand on the door knob.

Phil blinked at him. - What? You’re the one that literally tried to get me to leave, I don’t think you can say I was the only one pushing, and I didn’t even mean to, I was trying the opposite, actually… -

\- Yeah, right. Bye. Oh, wait! How did you get my number? - Dan furrowed his eyebrows.

\- You don’t seem to believe what I say so I guess there’s no point telling you, - Phil mumbled, then smiled and added: - I guess It’ll remain a mystery! -

\- No. You will tell me, - Dan said in a strict tone.

Phil frowned. - Why? You were pretty eager for me to just leave a second ago! -

\- I don’t like for people to have my number. Literally only three people have it. Well, four now if we count you. So tell me who gave you the number. And tell me now. You have exactly one minute before my stepfather drives down this street. Time is ticking. - Dan crossed his arms once again.

Phil glanced at the road in concern but still shook his head. - I can’t, I promised I wouldn’t tell, - he replied quickly, stepping back automatically.

\- Was that that bitch? Did she give you my number? I will fucking kill her! - Dan growled in sudden anger, curling his hands into fists so tight that his knuckles turned white.

\- Please don’t kill anyone! - Phil said urgently, his eyes wide. - I can delete your number if you want but please don’t do anything like that… -

\- She had no right! I had enough already of my mum giving it to her in the first place! Fuck! - Dan punched the wall next to him, sure to leave his knuckles bleeding.

\- Don’t do that! - Phil almost shouted, almost glaring at Dan, his expression then softening as he glanced over Dan’s hand. - What good did that do? - he asked softly.

\- Ah for fucks sake! - Dan rolled his eyes, slamming the door shut behind him and walking toward Phil, his eyes still dark from anger and skinny lines of blood dripping over his fingers already.

Phil swallowed, his eyes travelling between Dan’s eyes and his knuckles, thrown off guard once again. - Dan? - he asked slightly nervously.

Dan didn’t answer, grabbing Phil’s wrist in his other, not bloody, not bloody hand and starting to lead him to the opposite side of where he said that his step father will come, toward the bus stop.

\- What are you doing? - Phil asked, speeding up to match Dan’s pace, not even trying to get his wrist free and simply staring at him in shock as they walked.

\- Walking you to a bus stop. - Dan breathed out, his grip on Phil’s wrist firm but soft.

\- Why? You need rest, not the task of dragging me around! - Phil sighed, knowing it’d be hard to convince Dan otherwise anyway.

\- Because we didn’t finish our talk and I have no need of you getting lost. - Dan took a deeper breath.

Phil shrugged, but didn’t stop frowning at Dan. - Alright, at least slow down so you don’t tire yourself out? -

Dan didn’t answer but started to walk slower, sitting down at the bus stop, letting go of Phil’s wrist, resting his bloody hand over his knee.

\- I might have tissues somewhere… - Phil muttered, unzipping his bag to look before Dan could reply.

Dan just waited, looking at Phil, looking exhausted once again, anger gone.

An awkward moment of silence later, Phil produced a squashed packet of tissues from his bag, then sliding onto the seat beside Dan and taking his hand. - No arguing, by the way, - Phil stated firmly.

Dan just let Phil take his hand and wipe away the blood, keeping his mouth shut.

Only once Dan’s hand was almost completely devoid of blood did Phil finally look up again. - There, that’s a little better. What did you want to say? -

\- Why did she give you my number? And how did you find out that she is my step sister? - Dan asked, sounding really worn out.

Phil sighed, deciding to just say it rather than tire Dan out further. - She kind of guessed I was, uh, missing you, so she tried to help. It wasn’t anything bad, I promise. I think she felt bad for us. And, as for finding out she’s your step-sister: I recognised her voice. -

\- So just like that, you recognise her voice and went straight up at her in school and asked for my number? And felt bad? Yeah, right. - Dan rolled his eyes.

\- Oh! - Phil shook his head, forgetting that Dan didn’t know everything he did. - Right, sorry, yeah, she’s sort of my best friend so that made things easier… -

\- She is your what?! - Dan sat up straighter, looking over at Phil.

Phil paused, shrugging sheepishly. - I didn’t know you guys were related! -

\- We’re not! And there is no “we” between me and her! - Dan snapped.

\- Okay, okay, I get it, sorry. - Phil held his hands up in mock-surrender, offering a small smile.

\- Kiss me and I’ll forgive you. - Dan mumbled in a much softer voice, looking deep in Phil’s eyes.

It took Phil a moment to absorb that but then he nodded slowly. - Only if you promise not to push me away? -

\- I didn’t push you away. You pushed _me_ away. - Dan cocked his head to one side.

Phil was all sorts of confused again. - I really didn’t mean to, I don’t know why you think that… -

\- Will you kiss me or not? The bus will be here any minute. - Dan groaned.

Phil thought for a second before simply nodding, shuffling closer so he could reach Dan but waiting just before their lips met, looking straight at Dan. - You sure this is okay? -

\- Kiss me already, - Dan growled.

Phil chuckled and pushed their lips together, accidentally forgetting to try and keep his eyes open because of how surprisingly warm Dan was.

Dan answered to the kiss, placing his right hand over Phil’s cheek, deepening the kiss for a bit before breaking apart and standing up just when the bus stopped right in front of them.

Phil blinked, smiling up at Dan both gratefully and sadly. - Thank you, - he mumbled as he grabbed his bag and slung it over one shoulder.

\- You can text me if you like. I don’t mind. - Dan called before Phil hopped into the bus, turning around and starting to walk back home.

Phil didn’t have time to reply but, as soon as he had a ticket, he found his phone and texted a simple: - _You might regret that choice when I spam you! -_

_\- See you in two days. Don’t forget to work on your part of project. -_

_\- Don’t forget to stay alive x -_ Phil replied.

The next two days Dan wasn’t at school and there were no messages from him either but then, on Friday around lunch time Phil got a call from what sounded like a very excited and cheerful Dan.

\- Dan? - Phil asked hesitantly, not having expected someone who’d been so injured to suddenly sound so cheerful.

\- Philly! What a great time to hear your lovely voice, - Dan said in such a cheerful and lovely tone, making Phil completely forget his lunch and get all funny inside.

He stood up immediately, walking to an empty corridor so he could hear better. - What? I mean, thanks, but what? Are you okay? -

\- I’m in front of the school in the parking lot. Waiting for you. So, don’t leave me waiting for long. - Dan now said in a serious tone and hung up.

Phil’s jaw fell open but he just pocketed his phone and ran. Ran faster than before because he wasn’t sure what he expected to see and, when he reached the parking lot, he frowned, unable to spot Dan for some reason.

\- Phil! - Dan called from the side, all in black of course, leaning against shiny, new Porsche 918, his arms crossed over his chest, smirking at Phil, looking pleased for seeing how distracted Phil looked.

Phil walked over to him slowly, frowning. - How? - he asked simply, his gaze flicking between Dan, who looked a little bit healed, and the car.

\- Get in. We’re going for a ride. - Dan opened the car door for Phil, not giving an option for a “no”.

Sighing in defeat, Phil climbed into the seat, admiring the car despite his confusion, and waited for Dan to get in or explain or, preferably, both.

Dan got in and start driving, speeding up so fast that it made them being pushed back into their seats by the force of it, big smirk like smile spreading over Dan’s lips.

Phil gasped, clutching the seat, adrenaline flooding into his blood. - What are you doing? - he murmured breathlessly.

\- Showing you my new car, - Dan said joyfully, slowing down a bit to actually not break any rules.

\- Where did you get a car? Especially one like this? - Phil asked incredulously, turning to look at Dan in shock.

\- So, you know I went on a little trip, right? - Dan glanced over Phil for a millisecond. - So, he is all jealous about you and stuff, so he is kinda, hm, I could say treating me extra? -

An uneasy feeling crept over Phil. - He gave it to you, just like that? -

\- Yup, we went to a car salon and he bought it for me. All papers on me so this is 100% mine! - Dan said with such a big smile over his lips, sounding so excited.

Phil smiled, unable to help returning Dan’s enthusiasm. - That’s awesome! -

After a second, though, his smile faded a little. - And what happens if you don’t go back to him after this? -

\- Who cares? And this isn’t the only thing he did. As I said, he treated me extra these two days. It actually felt so good. Now I can kinda understand why people get sugar daddies but I don't know. - Dan laughed, stopping into what happened to be Phil’s favourite café.

\- Sugar daddies don’t give you bruises, - Phil mumbled, but then just tilted his head and gestured to the café. - What’s your plan? -

\- We get lunch. - Dan smiled, turning to Phil. - And I’m happy to see you. -

Dan’s eyes were full of softness as he slid a hand over Phil’s cheek before pulling him into a soft kiss.

Phil smiled into their kiss, taking Dan’s hand as he pulled back. - Did you know this was my favourite café? - he asked.

\- No, this is my favourite place. - Dan let out a small giggle, starting to play with Phil’s fingers. - Did you already eat your lunch? -

Phil laughed suddenly. - No, it’s just gonna be on the table where I left it, unless someone ate it by now… -

\- Well, good, because I’m buying you lunch. Let it count as a lunch date or something. I don't know how they call them. - Dan, to avoid the answer and look away from Phil, got out of the car right after saying it.

Taking a deep breath, Phil opened his door and climbed out too, almost shocked at how bright it was outside compared to inside the car, looking for Dan immediately.

Dan just flashed a fast smile at Phil, locking the car and walking into the cafe, letting Phil choose their seats.

He chose the ones near the window so they weren’t surrounded by too many people, but glanced at Dan before sitting down. - Is here okay? -

\- I always sit here. - Dan sat down, looking over his nails as if wanting to scratch the nail polish off but there was none left, making him sigh.

Phil smiled a little. - That’s one problem that can actually be easily fixed, you know, - he commented, nodding to Dan’s plain nails.

\- Yeah, I know. He made me clean them off. And when we got back I was kinda too excited to steal you from school to paint my nails. - Dan put his hands back down when the waiter came with the menu, Dan letting Phil fully choose food for them both.

Phil just ordered pizza-toasts for them both, hoping that was a safe option to go for and wanting Dan to try them if he hadn’t already.

\- So tell me, how have you been these two days? Apart from the cute messages you kept sending me, - Dan asked with a full mouth, for sure looking hungry.

\- I finished my part of the project that we’d decided on, starting adding some more information that you can check over…. other than that… uh, someone broke a window at school? - Phil offered, not sure what Dan wanted to know.

\- If that wasn’t you then I don’t care. - Dan took a sip from his coke, already finishing his plate, licking his fingers.

Phil raised an eyebrow. - What, you don’t think I could break a window? -

\- Nah, you are a drama queen but not the one who would actually break something. Not like that. - Dan looked over the waiter, showing three fingers up, and got a nod from her; after a moment the waiter brought a dessert over and Dan started to eat it like he really hadn’t eaten in the previous two days. - Want some? -

Phil shook his head. - No, it’s fine, you can have it, you seem like you need it more anyway, - he said, sitting back a bit.

\- Wha? - Dan looked up. - C’mon, here is enough for both of us. -

Again, Phil declined. - Nah, it’s fine. I’m full anyway. -

\- Philly, c’mon. Just one bite. For me. - Dan looked at Phil with puppy eyes, a big smile soon spreading over his lips.

Sighing in defeat, Phil only managed to stay firm for a few seconds before just giving in. - Fine, fine, enough of that look! -

\- You love that look. - Dan chuckled, pecking Phil’s lips before giving him a bite of the dessert.

\- I also love this, thanks, - Phil mumbled, even though his mouth was slightly full and his words came out muffled.

Dan smiled even bigger, starting to feed Phil his dessert while eating it himself too.

Once they were done, Phil looked at the empty plate, almost confused. - I can’t believe this is my favourite place and I’ve never had that before! -

\- Well, it could be because you can’t order it. - Dan grinned, leaning back in his chair.

\- What does that mean? - Phil asked, frowning slightly.

\- It’s not on the menu. It is specially made for me and just for me. So, feel special. - Dan smiled softly.

\- Oh, - Phil muttered quietly, - Well, thank you for sharing it then. -

\- I would love to share not only that with you. - Dan mumbled quickly before standing up and going to pay for their order.

Phil followed him almost immediately, as soon as he’d processed what Dan had said. - Hey, what else do you want to share? - he asked, not caring if he sounded dumb.

Dan smirked, looking Phil up and down before mumbling a silent “everything” and simply turning around and finishing paying for their meal, giving the girl standing as a cashier a smile, then walking out of the cafe, sure that Phil is following him.

Of course, Phil did follow him until they were stood by Dan’s new car again, at which point Phil finally regained the ability to speak. - And how would you do that if you can’t spend a day with me without having to suffer consequences for it? - he asked slowly.

\- Simply by spending time with you. - Dan smiled, leaned against the shiny car, pulling Phil closer by his hips and in between Dan’s legs, leaving his hands resting on Phil’s hips.

Phil let out a small gasp, then stared at Dan, tilting his head to one side. - And you’re sure that’d be safe? -

\- Do you think that I give a fuck about it being safe or not? - Dan asked smirking, lowkey loving Phil’s warmth seeping through his clothes, warming him up.

Having expected that kind of answer, Phil gave Dan a pointed look. - You might not but you know I do… -

\- Don’t worry, he literally won’t dare to hit me. - Dan groaned, rolling his eyes.

\- What, and you gave yourself those bruises last time? - Phil retorted, raising an eyebrow.

\- No, I mean that now, he can’t do that anymore. - Dan sighed, letting go of Phil. - Get in the car and I will tell you the whole story behind why I’m so sure about that. -

As ridiculous as he found it, Phil immediately missed the warmth of Dan standing so close to him, climbing into the car with a small shrug and waiting to see what Dan would say, hope blooming inside him.

\- So, when we went away for these two days, on the first day there was a big fight and he wanted to hit me again because I said that I liked kissing you but then I simply said that if he laid that fist against me I would simply walk out of that door and never ever allow him to come near me. So he just stopped and later, when he aggressively pulled my hair and kinda bit down on my shoulder, I made something like a scene about him always being so damn rude and so on, so after some arguing, he just broke down, started apologizing and said that he cares for me and shit like that. Then he promised that he won’t hit me ever again. Well, after all the tears were dried and we’d gotten some sleep, he started being all polite, taking me shopping and treating me extra. And I think you helped too with your cute texts that kept me smiling softly down at my phone. - Dan finished with some sort of soft smile over his lips, looking over at his phone that was lying next to the steering wheel.

Phil had simply been watching Dan while he was explaining with a slight frown on his face but, once Dan looked at his phone, he smiled. - Well, that’s not perfect but it sounds good for now. So, what’s next? - Phil asked.

\- I will let him treat me better. - Dan shrugged.

As much as Phil wanted to believe that was a good solution, he couldn’t help feeling worried and being, as Dan kept saying, a drama queen. - That’s it? - he mumbled.

\- Well, and spending time with you. - Dan looked up at Phil, leaning closer to him with a naughty smile on his lips.

Phil rolled his eyes but he blushed anyway. - Fine, but only if it’s somewhere there’s no chance of him seeing us, - he replied.

\- I don’t care, I could fuck you in front of him and still wouldn’t care. All I care about is you. Not him, - Dan breathed out against Phil’s lips.

A shiver running down Phil’s spine from the feeling of Dan’s breath on his lips, he just smiled again, but managed to pull back. - Still, - he muttered, not able to manage much more but hoping that got his point across.

\- Come back, - Dan growled, pulling Phil back, - Kiss me. -

Phil leaned in close but stopped just as his lips brushed Dan’s, smirking. - Hurry up and drive us somewhere else, then, - he murmured.

Dan cursed loudly, starting the car and speeding off. Not really caring about speed limits or other cars, manoeuvring through them till they stopped in front of the house Dan lived in.

\- Really? - Phil asked, but didn’t say anything else, wanting Dan to confirm if this was the final destination before kissing him.

\- What? My room is not good enough? - Dan asked while taking the car keys out, ready to get out of the car.

Phil only shrugged in response, letting them both climb out of the car before saying: - If it’s away from prying eyes, anywhere’s good enough for me. -

Dan just lead Phil to his room and as soon as the door closed behind them, Dan pushed Phil down on the bed, climbing over him, smashing their lips together in a somehow hungry but pleading kiss.

This time, Phil got over his shock quickly, accepting and answering back to Dan’s advances, one of his hands finding a place in Dan’s curls and the other settling on Dan’s back as they shifted a little to make sure they wouldn’t hurt themselves as they kissed.

Dan kept kissing Phil until they were fully out of breath but still stayed on top of him, having one hand in Phil’s hair and other under his shirt gripping Phil’s hip, a hungry-like look in his eyes.

\- Hi, - Phil mumbled pointlessly, breathing heavier than normal as he stared up at Dan, focusing on the warmth of someone else above him and the way his lips were still tingling.

\- Be my boyfriend, - Dan breathed out, looking deep into Phil’s eyes.

Phil blinked, somehow yet again shocked by Dan, even though he should probably be used to that by now. - You already have one, - he whispered sadly.

\- So, that’s a yes? - Dan asked, pathetically hopeful.

But Phil shook his head ever so slightly. - I wish it could be, but you can’t juggle both me and him without hurting yourself along the way. -

\- I don’t care about him. All I care about is you and only you. I don’t care if it will hurt. I don’t care if I end up dead. I will be thankful for every second spent with you no matter what the payment of it will be. Even a simple kiss or touch is enough for me. You are my everything and I’d rather be dead than without you because there is no me without you. - Dan breathed out.

Living up to his ‘drama queen’ title, Phil could feel tears in his eyes from the sheer honesty in Dan’s words. He had to take a deep breath in order to compose himself enough to lean up and plant a small, soft kiss on Dan’s cheek. - For someone who didn’t even want to do this project to start with, that was an incredibly sweet speech. Thank you, - Phil whispered, then added: - But I care if you end up dead so I can’t let you put yourself in that situation. -

\- So it’s a no then. - Dan slowly got up, his walls rising up at the same time, fully hiding the Dan he just was and showing only the cold fuckaboy who doesn’t give a fuck about anything that Phil met a week ago.

Phil frowned and grabbed Dan’s wrist, stopping him from going too far, continuing to stare into Dan’s eyes even though he was now met with a glare. - It’s not a no, it’s a yes with a condition, - he said firmly.

\- No. It’s yes or no. And since you can’t give me a full-on yes, then it’s a no. Now get out of my house. - Dan’s tone was colder than ice and sharper than any razors possible.

And yet, Phil wasn’t having it. He simply folded his arms and glared at Dan. - You’re not doing that again. Be honest, if I was with someone else that kept hurting me, would you say yes if I asked you? -

\- That doesn’t matter anymore. Now get the fuck out! - Dan almost dragged Phil out of the house in such coldness and anger, slamming the door right in his face.

Later, he got a message from Dan that simply said: “email me your half of the project.”

After that Phil didn’t see Dan in school and his phone number had been changed. It was like Dan had never existed at all and Phil had only imagined everything.

After a week, Phil finally asked Lynsy where Dan was but oh, how he wished that he hadn’t asked.

\- He moved out with his boyfriend last Sunday, - she said without any emotions, looking up at Phil and sighing. - I warned you that he is a fuckaboy and slut. You should have listened to me. -

\- No, - Phil breathed, shaking his head, - he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t… -

Then, despite Lynsy’s attempt at arguing, Phil got up and ran, he ran all the way through the cemetery and across the bridge, through the trees and up the road to Dan’s place, simply pushing the unlocked door open and skipping up the steps to Dan’s room.

But it really was empty, a simple room without any personality left.

Phil walked around, frowning at the desk, now bare and slightly scratched as if something had been ripped off it, and looking over the empty walls in case he’d missed something.

\- Phil, he’s gone. - Lynsy’s voice brought Phil back from his thoughts, she was standing at the door, looking at Phil with a sad expression.

\- Where did they go? He must have mentioned something? - Phil asked, sort of desperately, refusing to believe he’d found and lost Dan within a week.

\- He didn’t. He just came down the stairs when we had breakfast announcing that he is leaving with his boyfriend and won’t be coming back. Then murmured as if we cared anyway and walked out the door, got into his car and left. I’m sorry, Phil. - She reached a hand out for Phil.

Phil just brushed it away, knowing she wouldn’t be offended. - But he was ready to stay… Why would he just leave? Especially with him? - he wasn’t even asking her at this point, just thinking aloud.

\- Do you know who he left with? Because we never knew that he had a long lasting person… - She sighed.

\- That’s because you didn’t bother to ask, - Phil muttered, then nodded slowly. - Yeah, I know who it is. And so do you, if you’ve done your project right… -

\- What? I don’t understand… Is it someone from school? - She really sounded confused.

Phil tilted his head to one side. - You really don’t know? - he asked, shocked.

\- No, I have no idea. He was really private, he didn’t like me or my dad, so he never talked to us. So I really don’t know. I don’t even know why he didn’t like us so much. - She pulled Phil to her room and sat down, sitting Phil down next to her.

Looking around for a moment, he whistled. - Wow, you guys are completely different, - he commented, then, after a second, returned to their previous conversation. - Well, he said he was with the project teacher so… -

\- He was what? - She asked in full shock.

\- Exactly. - Phil sighed, standing up again, pinching the bridge of his nose. - I don’t get it, where can Dan go if the teacher was still in school? -

\- Em… I haven’t actually seen that teacher the whole week… - She sounded genuinely worried.

Phil went still, staring at her. - Didn’t you? I thought I did… Oh, perfect, - he mumbled, flopping down onto the floor, unsure of what to do next.

\- Maybe I can go and sneak his new phone number from his mum for you? I think that he did send her one but I’m not sure… But for you, I can try? - She kneeled down in front of Phil.

Phil looked up at her with hope and appreciation in his eyes. - Would you, really? Even though I was a bit cold to you? - he asked, biting his lip with guilt.

\- You are my best friend. And I see that you care deeply about him. - She stood up with a smile. - Be right back. -

After several minutes she finally came back with a phone number in her hand, giving it to Phil but when Phil tried calling it, it said that number doesn’t exist.

After weeks of trying to get Dan’s new number, it started to get even more and more surreal that Dan had even because there was literally nothing that would prove Phil that he wasn’t just imagining it all.

One day at school someone sits down next to him, making him look up and meet forest green eyes staring down at him, making his heart jump a bit.

\- Hi, I’m Ostin. - The boy said in a smooth voice, making Phil forget the aching piece in his mind that had been Dan. More or less.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you even got this far bc the ending was a mess. That happen when you write one ending, delete it and need to write it again and that happen more than once.
> 
> Leave a kudos or comment? :)


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